What truly guides me?

Question

What truly guides my life in the daily living vs. what I like-to-thing does?

Insight

• “Daily living” -- it is so many moments, at times one continuous flow, at other times very much a disjointed and strange string of distinct events
• This is a hard question, simply because I am asking it of me! Surely my views will be biased. However, so would anyone else's view about how they see me in-action! Essentially will be an exploration into “apparent” theories-in-use. Mode of a model, twice removed from Reality. Yet, worthwhile to explore as through this passes the path to “moksha / liberation”
  
• A few times now, but far more than never, much more frequently earlier, my emotions drove me. Be it anger, fear, infatuation, pride, etc. Anyway that is what e-motion is does – gets me moving! Otherwise I have been heavy on “knowing-in-the-head”. Action, if and when taken, was mostly taken reluctantly – no way-out, compelled-to, grudgingly!! Often out of the space of “accomplishing” -- drive to do coming from the need to somehow fill the void within. Was / is a painful place to be in – for self and others, but apparently the only path available before the light dawns – we are human beings and not human doings!!
  
• The many books I read have been a huge influence. So have been the many “gurus” -- real and ephemeral. In some sense always searching for the one perfect answer to all of life's questioning! Never satisfied with superficial explanations. Till the understanding reached a space which words simply can not describe. So all models are indeed flawed, any description indeed never what it seeks to describe!
  
• Now there is a receiving and a deep sense of being guided – gently and firmly! There is a new found sensitivity, a certain relatedness with all that is and will be and has been. A breaking-down of the boundaries of the tiny “I”. A letting go and letting God in a very practical and yet profound way.
  
• I smile more often, though not a permanent state yet! My heart is filled with gratitude, with appreciation, with awe at the perfection of the GRAND DESIGN. The doing now, is more of a happening, a flow so precious and so uplifting, that the Being is aware and awake like never before.
  
• There is a certain deep peace, a space where one can live the zillion paradoxes of life – to know that whatever one does is of utmost consequence (to my personal evolution) and at the same time completely inconsequential to the large evolution! And yet these two are not really separate. AS THE CELL EVOLVES SO DOES THE BODY AND VICE VERSA!
  
• So layers of mystery are revealed and there is unending gratitude and Love. There is complete owing of the “shadow”, thus allowing even more of the Divine Light to shine! Joy by enjoining! Loving What is! Participating in the evolution that is wanting to happen. Experiencing the Oneness and celebrating the co-creation that is happening daily! (in-the-small and in-the-large)